"I'm not the hero! I'm the guy in the crowd making fun of the hero's shirt"
Seth MacFarlane, "A Million Ways to Die in the West"

  1.  

    Full image link →

    (via morivan)

    Source: hilarioushumorfromouterspace

  2.   verylittlebird:

this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

this is why animated gifs are a thing

    Full image link →

    verylittlebird:

    this is the sort of web content i am looking to see every day

    this is why animated gifs are a thing

    (via lookingforthatgreatperhaps)

    Source: best-pics-gifs.com

  3.  

    tonyshalube:

    there should be an avengers tv show but it should be filmed and executed like parks and rec

    now with Paul Rudd as Ant Man? Definitely

    (via sucharyquinto)

    Source: tonyshalube

  4.  

    THE ONLY WAY TO KNOW ME IS ON THE ROAD TO NOWHERE

    (Pick a destination on this European road trip- or more, if you like it)

    Amsterdam: Do people think you are a complete "alien"?

    Athens: Are you a perfectionist?

    Belgrade: Tell me about the nicknames people give you.

    Berlin: How often can you get everything you really want?

    Bratislava: Tell me about the book of your life.

    Brussels: Do you use many different languages in a same sentence?

    Bucharest: Have you ever put someone in the Friend Zone?

    Budapest: Have you ever been put in the Friend Zone?

    Copenhagen: Have you ever kissed or been kissed by a complete stranger?

    Dublin: Have you ever drunk to forget something and/or someone?

    Helsinki: Imagine you have to choose between love and your greatest goal in life. What would be your choice?

    Kiev: Have you ever felt hurt by words that cut your heart more than a knife could ever do?

    Lisbon: Have you ever felt you were - absolutely - born in the wrong country?

    Ljubljana: Have you ever been mistaken by someone else?

    London: More sense or more sensibility?

    Luxembourg: Have you ever deeply regretted something you done (and I really mean DEEPLY)?

    Madrid: Which talents you don't have and you really would love to have?

    Moscow: Are you able you sleep well every night?

    Nicosia: How often do you fall into a state of procrastination?

    Oslo: What would give you absolute peace of mind?

    Paris: Are you afraid of falling in love (in general or for a specific person)?

    Podgorica: Would you die for what you believe?

    Prague: Are you a jealous person?

    Reykjavik: If you had to choose a country in the World to live forever and ever, which one it would be?

    Riga: Would you take and publish a selfie if someone asked you to?

    Rome: Have you ever experienced undeniable and true love in any form?

    Sarajevo: How far would you go for the ones you love?

    Skopje: What was the sweetest thing anyone called you?

    Sofia: Have you ever been a victim of any form of prejudice?

    Stockholm: Have you ever felt that you were an inspiration for someone else?

    Tallinn: What was the strangest rumour you heard about yourself?

    Tirana: Do you consider yourself a sexy person?

    Valletta: Have you ever had a car or bike accident?

    Vienna: Choose a song to define your life and explain it.

    Vilnius: Would you change your nationality if you had the chance?

    Warsaw: Have you ever suffered a depression?

    Zagreb: Have you ever gave your heart to someone who did not deserve it at all?

    Zurich: How important is money in your life?

    NOWHERE FAST: Don´t ask me absolutely anything. Tell – tell me what you think about the person that owns this Tumblr.

    Source: fabien-euskadi

  5.  

    nointerrruption:

    growing up sucks because you realize $1000 isn’t a lot of money

    (via your-p3nis)

    Source: okaywork

  6.  

    crunchbuttsteak:

    have you ever known somebody so shitty they completely ruin that first name for you?

    (via your-p3nis)

    Source: crunchbuttsteak

  7.  

    this was the best ending to any movie ever. ever. 

    no one can convince me otherwise. 

    I dont think anybody should even try to compete with this ending

    It wont end well

    (via wizardlife)

    Source: fyeahmovieclub

  8.  

    suicunesrider:

    uneditededit:

    Remember in 1993 when Jurassic Park was like…the end all, be all of special effects?

    image

    not gonna lie that still looks intimately real

    (via wizardlife)

    Source: uneditededit

  9.  

    designertrashbag:

    frozenmusings:

    feduptoinfinity:

    regretproduced:

    sirius-is-a-jedi:

    megmcmuffins:

    crowley-for-king:

    killedmycatatemytailor:

    yaridansei19:

    thederpunicorn:

    Deadpool Movie Test Footage Official

    Proof that God is real

    I NEED IT.

    I just jizzed

    WAT

    OH PLEASE DO THIS. PLEASE.

    Deadpool isnt supposed to talk
    Already not interested

    Yes. The character notorious for talking to the fucking writer and artist isn’t supposed to talk

    (via mycoffeeshopstory)

    Source: thederpunicorn

  10.   carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

witchlingfumbles:

boazpriestly:

thezulla:

leadingtone:

On the importance of a teddy bear…
(by Begemott)

i will reblog this every time.

But what if the teddy bear is the nightmare and the creature is the protector?

It is a little-known fact that teddy bears crave and feed on the dreams of young children. It is little-known, of course, because the bears are so soft and cuddly that they convince the young children that they need them. For a while, the bear will feed on the bad dreams, leaving the child with nothing but the sweetest of dreams. But the good dreams taste better and feed them more, so eventually the teddy bear will start feeding on those, and the child will have nightmares every night. And, because the teddy bear so thoroughly convinces the child that the bear is necessary for the good dreams, they will keep sleeping with it, hoping for its magic to work again.
But the mind of a child is so rich and imaginative that it creates the means to its salvation. The monster under the bed rises, in the end, to vanquish the bear. Some nights it rises before the first nightmare night. Other times, it is at the last moment, and rises only when the bear means to suck dry every last dream and imagination in the child’s mind.
Tonight is the former. This monster was sent out in time to save its child from a single bad dream. And despite the teddy bear’s sword, the monster is fierce and devours it in a single gulp.
It is about to leave when it hears confused, wordless mumbles. The monster looks down and sees its child is awake, and looking up at it. Sleep has not faded so much that the child doesn’t scream, just asks in a sweet voice what the monster is doing there.
The monster, like the teddy bear, can’t speak. Instead it picks up the water by the bedside, hands its child the glass. Still confused, the child takes it. When the child drinks its fill and hands it back, the monster tucks it in with gentle claws.
The child murmurs a thanks and falls asleep again. And the monster leaves, satisfied that it has left its child with less fear rather than more.

holy shit that was beautiful

    Full image link →

    carry-on-my-wayward-butt:

    witchlingfumbles:

    boazpriestly:

    thezulla:

    leadingtone:

    On the importance of a teddy bear…

    (by Begemott)

    i will reblog this every time.

    But what if the teddy bear is the nightmare and the creature is the protector?

    It is a little-known fact that teddy bears crave and feed on the dreams of young children. It is little-known, of course, because the bears are so soft and cuddly that they convince the young children that they need them. For a while, the bear will feed on the bad dreams, leaving the child with nothing but the sweetest of dreams. But the good dreams taste better and feed them more, so eventually the teddy bear will start feeding on those, and the child will have nightmares every night. And, because the teddy bear so thoroughly convinces the child that the bear is necessary for the good dreams, they will keep sleeping with it, hoping for its magic to work again.

    But the mind of a child is so rich and imaginative that it creates the means to its salvation. The monster under the bed rises, in the end, to vanquish the bear. Some nights it rises before the first nightmare night. Other times, it is at the last moment, and rises only when the bear means to suck dry every last dream and imagination in the child’s mind.

    Tonight is the former. This monster was sent out in time to save its child from a single bad dream. And despite the teddy bear’s sword, the monster is fierce and devours it in a single gulp.

    It is about to leave when it hears confused, wordless mumbles. The monster looks down and sees its child is awake, and looking up at it. Sleep has not faded so much that the child doesn’t scream, just asks in a sweet voice what the monster is doing there.

    The monster, like the teddy bear, can’t speak. Instead it picks up the water by the bedside, hands its child the glass. Still confused, the child takes it. When the child drinks its fill and hands it back, the monster tucks it in with gentle claws.

    The child murmurs a thanks and falls asleep again. And the monster leaves, satisfied that it has left its child with less fear rather than more.

    holy shit that was beautiful

    (via raventhefox)

    Source: leadingtone

  11.  

    cyclopette:

    *wakes up at 9* nice

    *immediately falls asleep, wakes up at noon* less nice

    Falls back asleep and wakes up at 3

    Most nice

    (via sucharyquinto)

    Source: cyclopette

  12.  

    (via raventhefox)

    Source: tinarannosaurus

  13.   sneakyfeets:

andrewthepoet:

One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 
The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.
Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.
The End.

dump her


Date the waitress

    Full image link →

    sneakyfeets:

    andrewthepoet:

    One time I went on a date to the Olive Garden and I ordered the seafood pasta. I open up one of the muscle oyster things and low and behold there is a tiny crab in there. I freak out and think it’s the craziest thing ever. I keep talking to my then girlfriend about this tiny crab. How hilariously wonderful it is that the little dude crawled in there in the ocean only to become a freaky little part of my pasta. She is very unamused and clearly wants me to shut the hell up about this tiny crab and be a normal person. She is 0% excited about the tiny crab. 

    The waitress comes over eventually and is like ‘hey how’s the meal?’ and I’m like ‘awesome, but you gotta check this out! i found a tiny crab in here!’ and waitress freaks out and thinks its awesome. And she is like ‘can I take this to show everyone else?’ and I’m all like ‘hells yeah.’ So she does and everyone else that works there thinks it’s awesome.

    Girlfriend SUPER annoyed.

    The End.

    dump her

    Date the waitress

    (via darthrader)

    Source: andrewthepoet

  14.  

    (via mckalice)

    Source: misscinemafanatic

  15.  

    green-satan:

    this movie was a masterpiece 

    (via brassholes)

    Source: jetpacksunrise